Choose your own adventure
Have you curated your life to best suit you?
It’s true that there are some times in life that are tough and require a certain amount of existing in “survival mode.” However, if you’re finding yourself constantly stressed, slogging away, or unsatisfied: why?
There are a range of structures in our existences that will steer us down particular paths in life. Parents who strongly suggest a university education; friendship groups that promote a culture of consumerism; a partner that demands one-on-one time all the time; societal norms around acceptable careers. It’s easy to get swept along with the current for chunks of time before suddenly questioning how you got there. Or worse - never questioning it at all.
Key to a more fulfilling (and sustainable) life is one in which there is some intentionality. In relationships, work, and lifestyle, how do we make choices that move us towards a life that gives us the greatest sense of vitality and contentment? How would your life ideally look in terms of how you spend your time, money, and energy, and how do you start to re-design things to better fit this?
Taking a step backwards, first we need to figure out our values. What are the things we feel are most important to us in life? When do we feel the most happy, fulfilled, or proud? I often work with clients to uncover their core values, but you can do this on your own. Google “values” for some great resources and lists to get you thinking. Once you have a handle on your values, you are better placed to set intentions on how you want to live your life as you have some landmarks to guide you.
All of this might sound simple or obvious enough, but life is hard and long, and it’s easy to get distracted. In addition, if you (like most) can sometimes find yourself driven by externally-focused coping mechanisms, like achievement-focus or people-pleasing, it’s not hard to wake up and find yourself living in a way that isn’t really what you want.
Take some time to question how things are set up in your day-to-day.
Do you really want to work five days a week or stay back late at work each night, and does it pay off?
Do you have to keep saying “yes” to a family member? Keeping the peace also has a price.
Do you want to keep investing in that friendship; does it provide you with real nurturance or connection?
Are you engaging with activities and interests that bring you joy?
What are you saving (or spending) your money for?
If we’re lucky, we’ll live for many decades. We certainly don’t want to race to this finish line, so take time to notice when you’ve started to speed along. You don’t have to!