Making space to make sense
I’m often on about the importance of slowing down - see here. But separate to the need to slow down for rest, there’s another reason it’s important for us to regularly take time out: to hear our own thoughts.
Making space to think about how we feel about different situations, interactions, and experiences we have recently (or not so recently) had is crucial to knowing ourselves. We need to allow time to question why we act as we do and why we believe what we do in order to grow, heal, and become more whole. More ourselves. More often than not, this kind of self-reflection is a sobering experience, but I’d argue it’s ultimately worth it.
The above sounds fairly vague and airy fairy? That’s fair. I think this kind of life examining is hard to get your head around until you do it. Perhaps even hard to get your head around unless you are currently, in this moment, engaged in it. Nevertheless, here is what it might look like:
Making 5 minutes to turn down the radio while you’re driving, and thinking about the most uncomfortable thing going on in your life right now
Journalling daily. There’s about a billion other blog posts out there about the joys of journalling, and how to journal. Just about any form it takes or structure you impose on it will assist you in the process of self-reflection.
Talking to a close other, like a partner, sibling, or good friend, about the things about yourself you’re confused, ashamed, or pleased about. Explaining why. Letting them be curious about these.
I must also mention that yes, one of the central benefits of therapy is that it’s a commitment to sitting in this often uncomfortable space of self-examination on a regular basis. But doing this alone is also invaluable, whether or not you are doing the work of therapy concurrently.
This all sounds simple, but it’s not. Just this morning I found myself perplexed by the constant presence of my phone in my hand or pocket, even as I moved about my own home. I’m something of a podcast addict, but periodically realise that rather than learning stuff (as I like to tell myself I’m doing), I’m actually absorbing too much information. There’s no time or space to reflect on how can apply what I’m learning to real life, and I lose out rather than gain anything.
How do you avoid your own mind?