Only crazy people need a shrink.
“Am I really messed up enough to need to be in here, in therapy?”
I can’t tell you how often I hear this asked (only half-jokingly) by a new client in their first or second session. The answer is usually: yes. And it’s not because the most distressed, disturbed or dysfunctional individuals in the city are walking through my doors and sitting on my couch. It’s because most people at different stages of their life could use the space to examine themselves and their lives and make a few changes.
Now, clearly I’m biased - I am a psychologist, and treating psychological pain with talking therapy is my bread and butter. I certainly believe medications can definitely help and are essential in many cases, but the research for a range of mental health issues from show that therapy promotes more lasting change (kind of makes sense - if you don’t make changes, nothing changes). However, even if you wouldn’t meet criteria for any diagnosis, chances are your mental health could do with a bit of a tune up. Do you try to do some activity each day? Do you try to sleep well, get a decent amount of sleep each night, and not drink too many vinos on the weekend? If you are mindful in taking caring care of yourself, why wouldn’t you also invest a bit of energy into working on your self?
Any time is a good time to engage with your own therapy, but some broad markers you may really want to be proactive in reaching out include:
You’re feeling highly anxious or distressed, or even actively suicidal. Or, you feel persistently flat and just “meh.”
You’re frustrated by repeated patterns of behaviour that you can see in yourself but struggle to change.
You don’t feel good about yourself, constantly question your value, or struggle with self-worth.
Your relationships with the people around you don’t seem to be going well - you don’t feel your needs are met, there’s conflict you can’t seem to resolve, or you just feel altogether disconnected from people.
You feel like you just react to things and are confused about what you really think and feel.
Often people will wonder about whether they are “bad enough” for therapy, or whether they are taking the space of someone who might have had “real problems” or “an actual bad childhood” and therefore need help more than them. Everyone deserves to take advantage of some therapy, so no matter how perfect your life might look on paper, pain, suffering, and plain old discontent all warrant being addressed.
So, if you’ve been thinking about whether or not to seek some help, I hope my perspective has given you a nudge towards taking that first step. I think you can’t lose. Take courage, and reach out now!
*In Australia, as a first step I’d encourage you to speak to your GP about your mental health. They can help you to develop a treatment plan and access Medicare support for psychological therapy.